Passing out in Public, yikes!

My disease decided to take a turn for the worst. I've always struggled with my chrons disease, but I thought I was finally getting better. My stomach wasn't hurting as much and my body wasn't sore from dehydration. I still felt weak but I always do, so I didn't think anything of it. On my day off 2 weeks ago I decided to go to my favorite mexican place and pick up some food. I was going to walk because it's only a block away, and I've done it before dozens of times. Now this seems like such a normal event every human can do, but not me. On the way there I felt really woozy and blamed it on my hunger. When I got to the mexican place I felt incredibly weak, and I knew I was going to pass out. And of course when I started to realize that passing out was inevitable I started to panic, which didn't help the situation. I sat on the stool next to the window, hoping that sitting down would prevent it. Next thing I knew I woke up on the ground, my face throbbing with pain (I slammed my face on the a table on the way down to the floor) and a strange woman holding me. (The woman owns the restaurant and took my order earlier. She was so comforting and kind to me, and I wish I would have learned her name! I did thank her later after this embarrassing episode happened!). The paramedics finally arrived and when they stood me up I started feeling woozy again. I was taken to the hospital, wheeled out on a gurney for everyone to see.
How embarrassing.
I'm not one of those girls who likes attention. I don't cause drama like a lot of people do to receive pity from others. So the fact that this thing turned into a huge ordeal was incredibly embarrassing. I was embarrassed that this happened, that I obviously couldn't take care of myself. And that really sucks. It's a crummy feeling to know that you can't do something as simple as grabbing a bite to eat. This freak episode should have never happened, and I can only blame myself.
I know it's my disease that makes me weak, and that I didn't do anything to deserve this. But I've had this disease for over 3 years now, and I haven't improved at all. It's my body, and yet I treat it like it's against me. I feel like I'm at war with my body, and all I do is try to fight this disease. "Oh eating this donut is going to give me incredible pain in a few hours? Screw you I'm going to eat 5 donuts." It seems silly that I'm always at war with my body, but I'm so angry that I have chrons. I know other people have it way worse than I do, and I'm not trying to gain sympathy. But this little episode really put everything into perspective for me. There's no point in fighting this disease anymore, it's not going away. But I can help make it bearable, as much as I can. Instead of treating my body as my enemy, I'm going to treat it like a queen.
I've never been obsessed with my health. I never really cared because other things were more important. My body deserves to be my main focus right now, I have to. I want to be healthier and stronger, so I can enjoy life and do normal things. And I want you to join me.
I'm making a promise to myself to be healthy and happier. And I'm going to use this blog and youtube to my full advantage. I want to share tips and tricks for a healthy lifestyle with all of you. Being healthy is difficult when you do it by yourself, so why should we? This blog is turning into a lifestyle blog, and I think that's a good thing. It'll keep me motivated and hopefully inspire people along the way.
I'm feeling a lot better right now than I did 2 weeks ago. I was given medicine for a few weeks until I find a specialist. Specialists cost a lot of money but again, my health is the most importnat thing to me right now. So thats my first step in the right direction. My next step is eating clean and lean.
Please join me in this journey, you deserve to feel healthy and happy, just I like I do.
Let's get this party started!
.